I am one of those people that doesn’t watch the news. We actually turned off our cable years ago, so my only way to see the news is online. It is not because I wish to be uneducated but more so because often times I felt worse after watching it. All the terrible shit they share makes it feel like this world is a real mess. And maybe it is in some places, but in my little corner I prefer to watch real world people still opening doors for strangers, people waving “hi” through windshields, and all the good things still happening around us!
A few years ago when I was newly married and a mother of a toddler, I was invited out to lunch with some girls. I was so excited because I felt apart of the “group”. We went to a local bar and sat in a side booth. People said hello to the ladies as they came in and I thought, “how cool!” I had lived in this area for a while but still didn’t know hardly anyone.
Once we sat down, the conversation really started. They got right into talking about how their kids were so awful and didn’t listen to them. How their husbands can’t even pick up after themselves. How shitty and small their homes were. They laughed and vented and I found myself thinking of shitty things so I could join the conversation. Talking about how my son never picked up his toys and it pissed me off (mind you, he was still very young).
The whole lunch continued like that for an hour until we all had to get back to work. I left feeling worse than I did before. I hated myself for complaining about my son and new husband. I came home to a less than perfect home and was irritated. All the negative energy from early came back and I wanted to burn it down (not really but you get it). I learned that day that when you focus on the bad, the bad magnifies. Things get worse instead of better.
I never went to lunch with them again, for good reason. I didn’t like the person I was that day. I now have the best friends and we chat about all the good things happening for us. How fun and energetic and amazing our kids are. How hard-working and supportive our husbands are. Every time I come home after a day chatting with them, I don’t notice the messy house or dishes in the sink, I see the best family I have been blessed with and feel so damn lucky!
I know you have heard the saying “what you focus on grows” but I really want you to consider that in every day of your life.
Find the good and you will feel the good!